In the Trenches of Life

For my birthday a couple weeks ago I asked for a book by C.S. Lewis called Screwtape Letters. I had heard many people recommend it, so I finally decided that I would give it a shot. As I was having my quiet time last night, I came across one of the most brilliantly written pieces I have ever read.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this text, it is a compilation of letters that a senior demon is writing to his nephew, who is in training. These two demons converse regarding a specific individual, the “patient,” whom they are trying to tempt away from Christianity. Through these conversations, the reader begins to understand their perspective on human life.

Here is the part that I read:

“[God] is prepared to do a little over-riding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs – to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best… He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles.

Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending to do [God’s] will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

Sooner or later He withdraws. Have you ever felt like God wasn’t there? Like He left you to deal with something all alone?

Now I know He never physically leaves us, but sometimes He pulls back a little and lets His children try to walk on their new foundation in Him. He knows that we will face trials of many kinds in this world, and He wants to see if we can clothe ourselves in His armor, fight on His behalf, and stand firm in the faith.

Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best.

When we have reached the end of ourselves, we find Him. When we empty ourselves of our own ambition and our own ability, we find His. When we find ourselves in the driest place, we discover the Living Water.

And if only the will to walk is really there, He is pleased even with our stumbles.

I can’t help but smile at these beautiful words. There are many times that I become frustrated with myself for failing, for falling short of perfection or of others’ expectations. The perfectionist in me is constantly disappointed. I eventually become so weighed down with the journey that it’s difficult to keep walking in the midst of my struggle to succeed.

But God delights in us, even when we stumble. He smiles upon His children who have the desire to keep going. He longs to reward those who persevere in the faith.

And we threaten the devil’s power when we still obey despite feeling forsaken. When we can’t seem to catch a glimpse of God in the middle of our own pain, yet we still choose to follow Him. There is power in the ability to endure through the trenches of life.

I believe that God is doing a mighty work in the midst of our greatest struggle. He prepares us for our biggest healing when all we can see are the deepest wounds. When we are scrambling to find a way out, He is holding the key. We must simply trust.

God does not leave us or forsake us, but He does sometimes remove His hand where He sees the need for refinement. I long to be the type of servant who remains faithful even when I look around and feel like the Lord has vanished. I long to obey and to have faith even when my circumstances bring me to the desert place. I long to stumble before the Lord with the desire to do His perfect will. I long to praise God in the middle of the trenches.

Would you join me?

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“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” 1 Peter 1:6-9